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AndrewTheNinja
I'm a singer, song writer, keyboard...ist, drummer, and a guitarist. on the side i do karate and draw little crappy comics every now and again.

Andrew @AndrewTheNinja

Age 31, Male

Singer/ songwriter

old school :o

Joined on 2/11/10

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5 minute poem

Posted by AndrewTheNinja - October 8th, 2010


wrote this in five minutes in my 1st period geometry class

live your life
to live a lie
to be yourself is sabatauge
don't push back
just be the same
there is no love only hate
don't take chances
they'll be your last
take the leap and you'll fall fast
personality that you steal
how is it supposed to feel
say your grace
to cloud your eyes
your faith says yes
but your mind cries lies
go through lows
all to get high
endless trouble
and then you die

this poem reflects alot of what i've been through and i intend on turning it into a song so tell me what you think


Comments

it doesnt suck, i like it actually.

nice job

no one said it sucked

it sounds nice, i really like it! i especially like the lack of punctuation :D

punctuctuation has no place here.

Subject matter is terrible and I personally hate it, but don't let me stop you. On a more helpful(?) note some of the ryhming seems really forced. Maybe work on that?

idk how its forced since this one kinda flowed. the subject is about my own life expirience. its not how i feel its just what i see people as. its not supposed to bring out positive feeling so of course its not to some people's taste. but thanks for your opinion.